I have been talking and writing about
my absolute obsession with photography which started shortly after I exhibited
Parkinson’s disease symptoms in late 2004. It took a few years before my
doctors realized that it was just Parkinson’s disease and not ALS, a brain tumor
or a spinal tumor. As unpleasant as Parkinson’s tends to be (actually, it
sucks), it is not remotely like those other things. Shit, I get nervous just
writing about them. (That’s why I’m not going to.) Compared to them, Parkinson’s
is a walk in the park. (Carefully
though. A symptom of Parkinson’s is stubbing one’s toe and tripping.) I think the Parkinson’s diagnosis came in 2008,
after the obsession started. So I want to think and write about this photography
obsession because in doing so, I hope to eventually prove or disprove (to
myself. No one else cares.) it all stems from Parkinson ‘s. As of today, it is
what I believe.
What I want to explain is when I place my
camera viewfinder to my eye, we become one. Can’t find any other words to
describe what happens. We become one. (“I
am my camera” comes close though.)
When that happens, I can feel the
image as well as see it. It makes me feel good, no matter what the image is. If
I see and feel it in the viewfinder, it makes me feel good. With that, the
image becomes an experience that I must share. I want others to share my
experience, and I just assume others will want to do so. I realize that this sounds
presumptuous or even arrogant. But I really appreciate it if you enjoy the
image. I also realize that very few photographs are liked by everyone who sees
them. Taste in photography is not universal. So even if one of my photos does not grab you
as an experience, I hope you can put up with my obsession and understand where
it comes from. (I think.)
It’s okay if that isn’t possible, I can
deal with it. There is a photo below. Be kind.
NYUrbanimages.com
John Poblocki
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